crushcrushcrush
by Isolde Necrophilia
Summary: -If you have a secret, never jot it on paper.- She became a guardian to save her cousin, not fall for the most impossible guy she could find. Mostly Aurikku
1. Hello, I Love You

It was kind of ridiculous. No. It was really ridiculous and a little embarrassing.

She closed her trademark emerald swirls, long eyelashes brushing against the rim of her cheekbones. Pink, as rosy as a Sakura's leaf, heated her face and left it that way. Most of the time she'd be sort of angry at herself for just that, yet it was impossible. Thinking about _him_ left berserk butterflies not only in the deep bits of her stomach, but raging into her chest and arms and neck and head and into a never-ending spiral of giddiness. Only a smile could define that sickening feeling.

So it should have been okay. Anyone who believed in love, anyone who believed in soul mates would have pushed her to confess those built in feelings. There was no room for procrastination in Spira. Nobody knew when Sin would attack, especially when Sin was Tidus' father and it just so happened that he liked to follow his son around and check on Yuna's progress for obvious reasons. Then why? Why, why, why? Holding a pen in her hand, she hovered over a thin piece of paper and scribbled numerous reasons just _why not._

**Uha- umt (pyt drehk? Ycg Yunie…)  
****Dfu- calnadeja  
****Drnaa- ra bnupypmo megac Lu  
****Vuin-**

The rest of the scrap paper was filled with unfinished thoughts 'cause really, all the silly flaws seemed to be kind of… kind of why the crush initially lit. He was older and well, she had a thing for older men. He took charge. He was secretive and sort of apathetic but there had to be something there, right? She'd heard stories about the _great Sir Auron _that felt kind of unrecognizable. He was the best fighter she'd ever seen before... the best guardian by far. She could recall a time(well, a couple) when he'd stepped in front of her to block powerful attacks. If he hadn't then… she wasn't sure if she'd be writing still, much less alive. They'd spent the following night surrounding a warm campfire while Yuna tended his wounds. He kept telling everyone to continue their journey and insisted he take care of the wounds himself. She felt pretty bad about the whole thing 'cause if she hadn't tried to steal for the damn thing it wouldn't have counterattacked and followed the spiral. She apologized for it time and time again but all he had to say was, "A guardian is alert at all times." A little disappointing 'cause, "Rikku, I don't know what I would have done if I let something bad happen to you! I'm so in love with you. You're beautiful. The first time I looked into those eyes I knew there and then what my life's purpose is. Would you marry me?" was far more favorable.

The list of things went on and on. He was everything she fell for because she knew that they'd never be a couple. A deep sigh eased between her pink lips, forced to a halt mid-way when a sudden bolt of thunder from the outside world sent panic through her small body. "AH!"

"Rikku."

Oh _shit_. "Uhh, uhhh, uhh… yeah?" Her voice managed to squeak into the silence.

The knob fumbled briefly then the door swung open in all its glory, showing the brightly lit hallway of the inn and him. Auron… without that huge red coat hanging half-way off his body. For a moment the blonde lost all focus and merely stared at the male 'cause seeing him without all that armor was a little strange. His muscles were obvious through the thin shirt fabric, scares like silver tattoos. She'd kind of forgotten that this was reality, not some kind of sick wet dream she'd expect from Brother.

"Why are you still awake?"

"Ah, what?"

"We're leaving in four hours, rested or not. Since this is all for you I'd expect that you'd use this time wisely."

Her eyes fell on the paper beneath her fingertips. She hated being scolded.

"I couldn't sleep!" She argued pointlessly. He was right. They should have been in Guadosulam(sp?) hours ago, but she couldn't it anymore. Storms… she couldn't explain why the phobia was so unbearable. She excused it with a story about a time with Brother and that seemed comforting enough.

He nodded, turning sharply on his heel for his room a couple doors down. Then panic really kicked in.

"No-ahh, Auron!"

He stopped, turning back to raise a brow in her direction.

"I'm sorry, you know? I just can't sleep, you know? Will you sleep with me?"

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A/N:

Okay, so basically I haven't wrote a fanfic… or a story, really, for about two-three years. I got grounded and found FFX and finally beat it. The whole time I kept thinking about Aurikku 'cause they're the cutest couple. I love them. I started to write it in my head a couple nights ago so I decided to give it a shot. It was supposed to be just a oneshot but I gradually developed a plan in my head so it'll be multi-chaptered. Do to my lack of thinking, it might be a little… spacey and weird. This chapter's kinda slow but I have a bit in mind. Note for the future that the order I write things might be a little out of whack with the actual storyline since my memory sucks ass. I love reviews. They'll make me uber happy, flame or not. Please excuse the massive amount of typos as well.

Thanks mucho. =]

& the Al Bhed will be translated later on and whatnot. xD

HAPPY NEW YEAR~!

**.-xFluffee;;**


	2. Play Dead

**A/****N: **Before I begin, I'd like to not that I have changed the point of view to first person of Rikku. This will not change throughout the rest of the chapters, I promise. It just feels more suitable for the plot.

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The question had slipped off the tip of my tongue before I could rethink it. No… not rethink. I hadn't even thought on it for a second. Stupid vomit. Heat soured into my cheeks and I was grateful for the dim lighting inside the inn. The question was purely innocent. I wasn't asking him to sleep with me like _that_. My thoughts were as pure as Yevon's teachings… or something. Ha.

I laughed a little nervously when Auron didn't say anything, just kind of stared off. Reading him was like reading Kimarhi. Their facial expressions rarely faltered. "Oh, come on! I didn't mean it like that, you perv!" I said, huffing dramatically and moving out of the chair that held me against the small desk. I looked up, kind of expecting the same stone look. For a second there I could have sworn someone planted Sin's toxin in the air 'cause that ghost of a smirk on his lips seemed way too unreal to be true.

"Oh heeeeey," I pointed a finger teasingly. "I caught that, you know!"

"Heh," he shook his head slowly and took a step down the hall. "Good night, Rikku."

"But-!"

_**CRASH!**_

Everything went blank. My knees gave out, hands instinctively pushing against my ears. I'd closed my eyes, stopped my breathing. I think my heart stopped beating there, too. When there was only silence(with the exception of Wakka's snores from the room next door) again, I peeked out of one eye to see Auron staring back at me… like usual. Then I realized what had happened. I hated thunder. I hated lightening and I really just wanted the storm to end.

"It's just thunder," I heard Auron say distantly. My limbs slowly loosened in defeat. "Yeah, I know…" I picked myself up and crawled to the edge of the mattress. "I just _hate_ it."

The (ex)warrior-monk stepped inside the room as I stripped off all the extra accessories I had strapped to my body. "How are you going to help retrieve the final aeon if you can't even get over a childish fear?"

His tone was pretty harsh, maybe a little cold and unfeeling. I frowned and peeled off the rest of my armor silently. So he did think of me as a child because what? He had more experience? I was more mature than most people my age. I'd seen a lot. It wasn't easy being an Al Bhed, let alone living in a world with Sin. I'd lost family, friends. I knew what reality was. I knew what it felt like. I wasn't as naïve as I pretended to be.

I didn't want to tell him that, though. I didn't tell anyone that… except Pop and maybe even Brother sometimes. Everyone had their own problems to worry about. It wasn't right to dump all of mine on them. Yuna and I shared similar views when it came to our feelings. It's easier just to smile, in times of joy and grief. The people of Spira needed hope. They needed strength.

I lifted the bland covers just enough to crawl beneath, ignoring Auron as he shut the door and sat in the only chair in the room. I tried to get comfortable in that strange silence, but the constant roaring of the lightening forced my body into a tense position time and time again. How the hell was I supposed to rest!?

"I'll stay here until you fall asleep," Auron answered my thoughts. I glanced into his dark eyes, fully understanding why he was famously known as one of the best guardians in history. I slid one hand beneath the pillow and allowed myself to rest against the bulky mattress. Auron's eyes never left mine, though, and I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"What happened to your eye?"

"Fiend," he answered in his usual tone.

"Oh."

I didn't really believe it, but I was too tired to question him. My eyelids fell shut. Within seconds, I was dead asleep.

* * *

"Rikku, we'll be leaving soon," I heard Lulu's voice someone in the darkness. I knew it wasn't apart of my dream. I knew it was real, but I didn't care. They wouldn't leave without me- right? Five more minutes wouldn't kill anyone. I grunted and rolled over, hugging the sheets closer to my tiny frame. Just when everything began to fade out, Wakka's stupid voice had to ruin it.

"RIKKU! COME ON!"

"Alright already!" I shouted back. Ugh. Only getting four hours of sleep was surprisingly agonizing. Tossing the blanket across the bed, I sort of stumbled off the mattress and began to reequip everything from the pile. Yuna trusted me with pretty much everything we had. Potions, remedies, and all sorts of weird lookin' things that made the fiends go boom! I grinned at my own joke and tightened the sash around my thigh until it was secure enough. Sighing, I plopped back on the mattress. Why couldn't I hear the lightening? Maybe the storm was gone. Maybe we were somewhere else. Ah, maybe I had a hangover! Sheesh.

But Pa always taught me never to get my hopes up about shit I didn't know about, and he was right 'cause about two seconds later a very _faint_ bolt of lightening crawled into the peace. I whimpered softly, controlling my hands just enough to grip the sheets instead of my head. I needed to get over this stupid phobia. Or get out of here. Haha, yeah. That sounded better.

"Anything else?" I whispered, daring myself to look about the candle-lit room. There was hardly any evidence that I'd ever been there. Nothing at all. I forced myself on my feet and traced back. What was I missing? A frown pulled at the edges of my lips. I just knew I was forgetting something… something pretty important. I looked over at the desk, spotting the pen I'd been using. I pocketed the item safely then stared at the chair. I wondered just when he left. I sighed gently, pushing a blonde strand of hair just behind my ear. Auron was too distant, beyond everything. He probably had a wife or something somewhere. He never told any of us where he'd been since Braska's Calm. It was pointless to fantasize over a relationship like a giddy schoolgirl. But I liked him. A lot. When he let his defense down, it made all the trying worthwhile.

I finally decided that looking for an unknown object was pointless and returned to the lounge where mostly everyone waited. I had to focus on other things, like figuring out a way to save Yuna from her fate. Only I couldn't even do that –every time lightening struck I had to kiss the ground. Go figure.

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**A/N: **I tried not to make it too cheesy, 'cause cheesy is kinda lame and gets old fast. **Please review** if you have read, just to tell me you like it or you hate it or give me a couple suggestions. Let me know what you like. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.

**.xFluffee**


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